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Bless... [Oct. 29th, 2008|08:08 pm]
dandywalker
Russell resigns from Radio 2
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I don't see what all the fuss is about.... [Oct. 29th, 2008|07:12 pm]
dandywalker


[Speaking on Andrew Sachs' answer phone]

Russell Brand: Hello Andrew Sachs, this is Russell Brand … you are meant to be on my show now mate … I am here with Jonathan Ross. I could still do the interview to your answer phone.

Jonathan Ross: Let's do it …

Brand: Man … er, Andrew Sachs.

Ross: Don't call him Manuel, that's really bad manners. I apologise for Russell - he's an idiot.

Brand: I said Andrew Sachs! Look Andrew Sachs I have got respect for you and your lineage and your progeny, never let that be questioned.

Ross: Don't hint …

Brand: I weren't hinting! Why did that come across as a hint?

Ross: Because you know what you did…

Brand: That wasn't a hint …

Ross: He fucked your granddaughter!

[laughter in the studio]

Brand: That's his answer phone!

Ross: I'm sorry … I apologise Andrew, I apologise, I can't help it, you were talking about it and it was in my head, I apologise.

Brand: Jonathan!

Ross: I got excited, what can I say, it just came out.

Brand: Right. you wait till I come on your show. Andrew Sachs I did not do nothing with Georgina … oh no, I revealed I know her name! Oh no, it's a disaster! Abort, abort! Put the phone down, put the phone down, code red, code red! I'm sorry Mr Fawlty, I'm sorry. You're a waste of space! Oh no, Jonathan …

Ross: Why did you tell me? I forgot. You mentioned her and then it was in my head and then it came out.

Brand: I know you can't be blamed for this … It's too much for you …

Ross: He is the poor man at home sobbing over his answer machine.

Brand: What's going to happen? I will get a call now from the satanic sluts.

Ross: If he is like most people of a certain age he has probably got a picture of his grandchildren when they were young and innocent right by the phone. So while he is listening to the message he is looking at a picture of her when she was about nine on a swing …

Brand: She was on a swing when I met her … let's ring back Andrew Sachs.

They call for a second timeCollapse )
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Indeed... [Sep. 29th, 2008|10:26 am]
dandywalker
So we went to see Death Race yesterday. Can't think for a minute what could be enjoyable for gay men in a Jason Statham lead film that is full of mindless violence between convicts...ahem...


I am still totally obsessed with the US Election campaign. I can't call it, I just hope it turns out well in the end. Sarah Palins spotlight seems to be fading slightly and now the Fox Network is turning on the Republicans a bit it seems, which is amazing as they have traditionally been such supporters. I just hope that the women especially of America don't fall for her hockey-mom tactics and the men don't think she is some kinda MILF, I mean, look at her! Fishy.


I have completed my geeky iTunes mission, to correctly label and upload art work for 18,000 tracks. I was such a nerdy thing to do but I have such a sense of achievement about it. galactic_jack thinks I am a total loser for doing such a thing and he's probably right.


Got to see John Waters do his lecture in Hammersmith last week. We were fourth row and I was a little star-stuck by such an idol. I can't believe that in the Q&A someone asked for a hug, of course he refused. John Waters does not look like a hugger, he said himself "I don't even hug people I love!"

I snagged us some tickets to see the god that is Russell Brand. We saw him a couple of years ago and he makes me laugh so much. He's playing locally which always makes it appealing. I don't have a 'thing' for him, unlike so many screaming fans but his humour makes him attractive. On the other hand many find him arrogant and a fool. But he makes me laugh, innit.
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Hehehehe. [Sep. 2nd, 2008|10:24 am]
dandywalker


Found on turi's page.
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So keep it up, keep it up. Don't be afraid, Madonna... [Aug. 24th, 2008|11:00 pm]
dandywalker
So this time 24 hours ago myself and galactic_jack were leaving Cardiff's Millennium Stadium which is 243 miles from our front door. Quite a trek but worth it for one reason only. It was Madonna's opening night of her new Sticky & Sweet world tour.

We joined the queue outside at around 4:45pm. The gates were due to open at 5:30pm. As we joined the queue the rain started to fall. Not prepared for this we got wet. But spirits were generally high because we had sacred Golden Circle tickets. This meant we were in the select few of 4000 out of 40,000 who had access to the area surrounding the front of the stage, we would breathe the same air as her. I was excited.

We made it into the venue at around 6pm. People were going crazy running ahead and screaming, we're a bit too cool for that kind of behaviour, I mean, she is merely another human being right? (Secretly I wanted to run and scream like a girl, but we shall not speak of that). We pitched up in our desired spot to the right of the long stage runway. It was then I realised that when she was at the end of that runway she would be merely metres away. I hadn't been that close since the Girlie Show, 15 years previously. We waited, and waited and waited. Where the hell was that bitch???!!!!

The crowd started to get tetchy, 3 hours had passed of just starring at an empty stage. No support act to ease the wait, nothing. Just other peoples body odour and, and baring in mind the audience was mostly men who would hold hands, over powering aftershave.

Suddenly it was as though the last three hours was merely a limbo stage. It's almost like she wanted to completely numb our senses to make sure we paid full attention. The lights went down and came up and revealed upon her throne there she was. The crowd were immediately won over, she had us where she wanted us. She opened with the obligatory Candy Shop followed by Beat Goes On which had a great sequence with a car coming down the middle of the runway. Then she grabbed her guitar for a front performance of Human Nature. I was torn between watching her and watching the video screens because Britney Spears had recorded a special video to accompany the song where she sings the "Express Yourself, Don't Repress Yourself" bit, finishing the song with the now immortal words "It's Britney Bitch".

After a, dare I say it, mediocre version of Vogue and a video interlude of Die Another Day she returns to the stage to do a fantastic rendition of Into The Groove. With a Keith Haring backdrop and skipping ropes galore. God that woman can skip (even though she did fuck up a bit). It was her energy that made us all breathless. Heartbeat followed as did a 'rock' version of Borderline. For the song She's Not Me her female dances adorned Madonna looks of the past (Like a Virgin wedding dress, Material Girl 'Marilyn' outfit, Open Your Heart basque and Express Yourself Gaultier power suit). Madonna proceeded to sing "she's not me" by stripping them of items of clothing and wigs. Denouncing impersonators, or turning her back on the past? She finishes this section with a streetwise rendition of Music.

After a video interlude she returned on top of a piano dressed in a long black cape for new song The Devil Wouldn't recognise You, followed by other new tracks Spanish Lesson and Miles Away. Then things got even more Latino with a version of La Isla Bonita. The tone was mellowed with the Evita track You Must Love me, a girl behind us got hysterical and was crying like a child. Weird. Great performance though, Madonna that is, not the screaming baby-woman. Then came the party political broadcast for the democrats. In a video interlude Madonna warns us that the planet is dying, people, and it's our job to stop that. Bad images were shown on the screen, bad people, in that line up were Hitler, Mugabe and McCain (bad McCain). In the good images, Bob Geldoff, Bono, Michael Moore and Obama. I think this sequence will cause more of a stir in her native country, the Cardiff audience were up for whooping at a shot of Mother Theresa whilst hoping she comes back on stage to perform one of the oldies.

Final section now, fast paced. 4 Minutes, Like a Prayer (which I loved) and Ray of Light. The guitar was back on for a rock rendition of Hung Up and then practically straight into the 'encore' Give It To Me. The last had the whole stadium jumping. She disappears into her video cube backdrop with the words GAME OVER flashing on the massive screens.

My God, the 50 year old has energy. And she looks fantastic, which is contrary to recent paparazzi pictures I have seen. I couldn't tell it was opening night. So well rehearsed, and it seemed she was really enjoying it. Poking fun at herself. This was Madonna's way of communicating with her audience. Apart from "Are You Ready, Cardiff?" and a few muttering she didn't really address us much. But she smiled lots and her rapport with her dancers was clear. I loved it, and being close enough to see the whites of her eyes made it all the more enjoyable for me. Apparently Guy and the three kids were there to, but they didn't hang near us (bitches). I hope people enjoy the show. I fucking did.
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Concerning me this week... [Aug. 21st, 2008|09:03 pm]
dandywalker
GARY GLITTER

So Gary Glitter is living in no mans land at the moment going from airport to airport hoping some fool will let him into their country. Not happening Gazza. I think he is unintentionally drawing more press attention than avoiding it to be honest.

I noticed on Facebook someone had created a group called KEEP GARY GLITTER OUT OF BRITAIN whose message board is rammed with people shouting off about the 'NONCE', "Keep him out of this country, we need to keep our kids safe". Sadly the idiots on this group fail to realise paedophilia is alive and well in every town and city in this country and by trying to make an example of one high profile sex offender is not really the best way to combat this issue. Still, people need to get up on the soap boxes about something. The press are obviously loving it, whipping us all into a panicked frenzy until we explode into some paranoid outraged heap of sweat and tears.

I think it is right to feel disgusted by paedophilia but I think it is totally wrong when people get some sort of pitchfork mentality over it. It makes me start to sympathise with sex offenders, and that sweeties, ain't good!

JADE GOODY

Ex-Big Brother 3 contestant made herself a house hold name with a string of TV shows and a perfume range and pictures is semi-glossy magazines. That all came crumbling down at the start of 2007 when returning to the show that made her in the celebrity edition of Big Brother. Jade was made a scape-goat for other contestants and was accused of making racist remarks to fellow contestant, Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty.

The world went crazy, in India they burnt effigies of Jade Goody in the street, chanting for her demise. Luckily, they got their wishes, Jade left the house in silence and was forced to face up to her actions. All her lucrative deals came crashing down and suddenly she was no longer the countries sweetheart.

Cut to 18 months later. Most people had forgotten about Jade and India had just started it's own version of Big Brother called Big Boss, hosted by Shilpa Shetty. Then all of a sudden Jade Goody showed up entering the Big Boss house. The world raised an eyebrow at this blatant attempt of damage control, to show people she wasn't the heartless racist as she was previously portrayed but actually a decent human being who could integrate and be loved by the world once again.

48 hours after being in the house Jade learns (via telephone from her consultant) that she is diagnosed with cervical cancer. She emerges to her new friends in floods of tears. Suddenly, through no fault of her own she was top of the headlines again.

Now I have always had a soft spot for Jade. I know she is pretty talentless but there is/was something endearing about the girl who thought East 'Angular' was in Spain and Cambridge was in London. I disagree with the statement that she is a figure to celebrate due to her stupidity. There will always be stupid people, surely some of those deserve some form of success. And whilst cynics wonder if this cancer story is another way to win herself back into the nations hearts I just sit back, bemused by the incredible life this young woman has endured.

That's all for now. I'm off to see Madonna in under 48 hours, so, yay!
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W. [Aug. 13th, 2008|11:46 pm]
dandywalker
So Oliver Stones latest looks like it gonna cause a stir. It looks a little ridiculous from the trailer, but in that sense it matches its subject mark for mark!

Some films seem to desperately scream 'LOOK AT ME! I'M SO DARING!', this certainly falls into that category. It has the potential of falling on its face, can't wait to see it.

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Lads Mags [Aug. 4th, 2008|06:01 pm]
dandywalker
According to the Conservatives Michael Gove, the reason for the family breakdown in today's UK is lads mags like Zoo and Nuts.



It's easy to see why they would be an easy target, with their gratuitous depiction of women as mere play things for horny young men. He says: "Titles such as Nuts and Zoo paint a picture of women as permanently, lasciviously, uncomplicatedly available. The images they use and project reinforce a very narrow conception of beauty and a shallow approach towards women. They celebrate thrill-seeking and instant gratification without ever allowing any thought of responsibility towards others, or commitment, to intrude."

I am not about censorship at all, I have never had a problem with pornography and believe that sex should be less a taboo subject and more of a celebration. But it does seem these magazines which are available openly in every news agent tucked between music mags and tv guides are getting trashier and trashier. It leaves a slightly bad taste in my mouth, for all my open liberalness.



I just think it's tack of the worst kind. These magazines make previous players FHM and Loaded look like glossy coffee table fillers. But of course it would be naive to say that these magazines lead to the breakdown of the family unit. I think political and social UK history plays a much bigger part in the state of the country. I still don't know where my opinion on these magazines really is. Do I find it offensive, or do I just roll my eyes at the naffness of it all?
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The week, so hot... [Jul. 28th, 2008|07:58 pm]
dandywalker
After major home improvements in the sweltering heat it must surely be time to take some 'RnR' for the rest of my week off work. I like LJ because it's the only place were work people can't keep an eye on what I am up to, I remain slightly more anonymous on her to casual browsers. I am still an idiot and check my work emails daily, this is mainly for the purpose of there not being so many to sort through upon my return. Such a thankless task generally.

So, off to see Ms Minogue AGAIN this week, the 7th tour I have seen since '91, so I need to be prepared for this...



I don't think anyone can truly prepare for that.

We have learned that the cat that comes to visit us, and we feed and let sleep on our bed (so it seems it is our cat) goes next door to defecate, that's our kinda cat. We calls him Buddy :)

Other news, I went out on a Hen Night on Saturday, being the token gay, surrounded by hags. They obviously don't know me too well as they tried to make me wear a cowboy hat with the words 'Hen' and 'Night' written on the front. Tsk. Well to cut a long story short, the Hen ended up crying and vomiting by 8:15pm and she demanded to go home. I just thought it was hilarious, and it did mean I got to come home and catch the end of 'Croc', a made for TV movie starring a haggard Michael Madsen and a giant killer crocodile...what's not to love?



Just brilliant.
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Concerning me this week....Madonna [Jul. 24th, 2008|09:17 am]
dandywalker
Of course, upon my return I should really catch up with the one thing that I know that is concerning us all this week, and that is poor old (50 in a few weeks) Madonna. She's had a rough time of it with the Alex Rodriguez accusations, which she vehemently denies only to be followed by her brother Christopher's book, which I have to say has one of the best pictures I have seen of her in...

An ordinary girl in an ordinary kitchen, love it.

And this week doctors have told her she is anaemic and must slow down on rehearsals for her new Sticky & Sweet Tour, a tour which has already had a troubled production with the firing of two dancers. The tour starts in one month (I am going to opening night, of course) and she has been ordered to take time off. So she decides to hang with bosom buddy Gwyneth in the Hamptons to chillax with the kids in the park...



I know, I know, she often makes her own bed and needs to lie in it, but this time I think it's getting to her. The fact that she is married to an allegedly homophobic ass, and has old sports personalities coming out of the wood work saying she begged them to father her child seems really unfortunate.

Despite her flaws, of which I believe there are many, I still believe she is fabulous and I wish her the best. And baring in mind I have now posted two rather unflattering pics, here she is looking young, hopeful and fierce.

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